Naissancedumoi

  vacuuming at my grandma’s place so that she can rest (or love me) I have been in Turkey for three weeks now, and it's been nice seeing all my family that I haven't seen in three years. It's like we came back here three years later and no one, nothing has changed. First time i went to turkey was when i was seventeen, it was the summer before my last year of high school, i was pretty much lonely at that time, didn’t had many friends, i was spending most of my summer reading sylvia plath’s poetry, napping  at my grandparent’s home. The last two weeks in turkey were also a bit of a struggle mentaly for me. At that time it was for me the first time that i saw pretty much all my family, i felt lucky because most of my relatives remembered me from when i was a baby but for my little sister and brother it was for them and for my relatives their first encounters, my sister was fourteen at that time and  my little brother was eleven i think. How could someone spend most of his li...

  Is it love that I need ? or is it a cigarette and a stranger’s kiss?  i was crying while i was running and my mind was frozen like an empty store on a sunday morning  I try to use my pain to write but nothing comes so what should I do ? kill myself haha If I don’t create something, or write something, I think I will definitely end up in an asylum of some sort. but all i do everyday is repeat the same stupid shit that i hate doing : waking up, taking the tram for 40min, walking 10min to get to school with my heavy bag, then get into class where everyone is stupidly looking at you while your looking super hot with ur nice philosphy book in your hand, then you’re in class its super boring so u read an article from le monde diplomatique and then u want to smash ur head on the floor, after class u go to the toilets ,wait, roll a cigarette that u will smoke alone or not alone but either way its a nightmare, after the cigarette u go back inside and go the library to study , af...